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HOW ESTONIAN HIPPIES DESTROYED THE SOVIET UNION
Heroic poem in ten parts with an epilogue
Mikhail Durnenkov
Based on the books of Vladimir Jah Guzman, as well as the Tibetan Book of the Dead
Translated by Kristina Aleksanyan
Edited by Elena Susanna Weygandt
Characters:
- Lennon – 17 years old on the eve of 1973 and 34 years old in 1990.
- ULLE – 16 and 34 respectively.
- Harlequin – 20 and 37 respectively.
- KALLE KRISHNA – 16 and 33, respectively.
- ANU – 17 and 34, respectively.
- IVAR – 18.
JOKERS:
1st: Abbot of the monastery, 1st hippie, blind pilgrim, 1st Policeman, Elderly Policeman, Pope
Calle.
2nd: Monk, 2nd hippie, blind pilgrim, 2nd Policeman.
3rd: Blind Pilgrim, Young Policeman (Martin)
4th: Mama Kalle, Psychotherapist, Ulle’s great-great-grandmother, blind pilgrim
5th: Mystery, blind pilgrim, Ulle’s great-grandmother.
6th: Siren, hippie, blind pilgrim, Ulle’s grandma.
7th: Joker – blind pilgrim, Ulle’s mother.
- THE SYSTEM
HARLEQUIN. The system; that is, I must tell you about my new mystical revelation.
LENNON. The system, in this case, is Harlequin himself, Ulle, Kalle-Krishna, Anu, and Ivar.
People from Tallinn. Good people from Tallinn.
KALLE KRISHNA. And you, Lennon.
LENNON. I don’t know why they called me Lennon.
ULLE. Well hello. Because you have the same glasses, beard and hair.
ANU. Ivar would also like to be called Ringo, maybe that’s why he wore the cap.
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IVAR. This is a taxi driver’s cap, it’s insanely cool, it’s macabrely cool.
ANU. But everyone calls him Ivar.
IVAR. I haven’t decided on a nickname yet. I like Rabid. I also like Tree. I’m like a Scandinavian
Tree, I’m powerful. I’m not very big, but I’m terribly sinewy. Small, but such a fast bitch. Mad. Or
Tree. But best of all is Ringo.
HARLEQUIN. System, are you listening to me?
KALLE KRISHNA. Why did we need the System? The system is needed to explain the universe,
because if you don’t explain it, at some point you can really get screwed.
LENNON. Kalle-Krishna, Krishna-Kalle. A Yogi in nineteen seventy-two is almost the same…
ULLE. Almost the same as a wizard. Because everyone saw the cult film, Indian Yogis, Who
They Are, and it became clear to everyone that these are the most magical people.
LENNON. Not the most magical.
ULLE. The most magical, fairy, fabulous people, don’t argue with me, Lennon. And our yogi was
Kalle. Kalle, you are sex.
ANU. Krishna can bounce boobs. Krishna, bounce your boobs! Krishna has bouncing boobs!
KALLE KRISHNA. In the Autonomous Republic of Estonia live truly backward, wild people.
Another five years and we will start growing ganja on Mars, and when you say that you are a
yogi, the farmers shudder and reach for their pitchforks.
LENNON. Krishna, what farmers? Even the nails on which you show off were bought in a
hardware store in the center of Tallinn.
KALLE KRISHNA. I brought incense. Are we exploding?
IVAR. That’s the coolest thing! Krishna, where do you get all these goodies?
KALLE KRISHNA. Prana invisibly permeates the entire space of the universe.
LENNON. Krishna can get anything.
KALLE KRISHNA. You just need to see these flows and connect to them.
IVAR. This Indian stench, it just makes me sick. Well, let’s play? Are we playing? Come-on, are
we playing?
HARLEQUIN. I must tell you about my revelation.
IVAR. Let’s play!
The lights go out.
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LENNON. What a terribly stupid game. Do you hear something? I think it was a weight that fell.
IVAR. I came up with this! Check it out!
ULLE. Is everyone alive?
KALLE KRISHNA. Catch!
LENNON. Ivar calls this game “The Witch’s Hammer.” It consists of throwing heavy dumbbell on
each other in the dark by listening to each other’s voice…..
IVAR. Witches! Where are you, witches?!
Ulla’s and Anu’s laughter is heard.
IVAR. Witches, this is for you!
LENNON. So? Got adrenaline?
ULLE. Catch Lennon!
Bolt.
ULLE. Lennon?
Pause.
ULLE. Lennon? Are you alive? Lennon? Kalev?
LENNON. Aaaaaaah! Catch!
KALLE KRISHNA. Got it! Catch!
LENNON. Catch!
ANU. I’m heeere!
IVAR. I came up with this game! Because I’m not afraid of anything. I’m not afraid of anything!
HARLEQUIN. Enough.
The light turns on.
LENNON. The most serious person in the world is Harlequin.
HARLEQUIN. Because the things we do are very serious. Life and death. Abyss and filling.
Universe and silence.
KALLE KRISHNA. Remember the story about the nail?
ANU. Yes, the story about a nail, the story about a nail! Harlequin, tell us about the nail!
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HARLEQUIN. The nail is me. The world is a curtain nailed to the underside of consciousness.
The nail is me.
LENNON. Harlequin once came wearing the same stupid cap as Ivar’s…
IVAR. This cap is like Ringo Star’s, you idiots!
LENNON. …He took it off and we all saw the nail.
ULLE. A natural nail driven into the forehead.
KALLE-KRISHNA (jealously). A centimeter, no more. Nonsense.
ULLE. Nonsense???
HARLEQUIN. I opened my third eye.
LENNON. He opened his third eye and decided to drive a nail into himself.
HARLEQUIN. It hurt, but I was angry.
KALLE KRISHNA. If he had worked with his consciousness correctly, he would not have felt
pain.
ANU. Handsome Krishna didn’t drive a nail into his forehead, but Harlequin did!
KALLE KRISHNA. Because this is not a task for a yogi!
LENNON. We went to the pub and showed the nail to the people there. Their jaws dropped, and
they immediately poured us beer for free. We hung out like that for three days. Everyone could
touch Harlequin’s nail, provided they treated us to beer.
HARLEQUIN. They connect to me. Through the nail.
LENNON. The beer flowed like a river.
ULLE. When I saw them, I went nuts!
LENNON. They yelled at us…
ULLE. And she immediately rushed Harlequin to the hospital, where they removed his nail. The
doctors said that anymore and his brain would have been damaged.
KALLE KRISHNA. It’s cool that Harlequin has such a small brain.
ANU. Do not envy.
KALLE KRISHNA. I’m not jealous.
ANU. But you are the most beautiful.
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KALLE KRISHNA. This is bullshit.
ANU. You are so yogic… Tell us about how you went to Tajikistan as a hitchhiker.
KALLE KRISHNA. Yes, let me tell you how I got to Tajikistan. This is truly the coolest story…
LENNON. Later Krishna, later. Now we need to remember that evening. We were lying on
children’s beds. The stinky sticks Krishna brought were smoking. Ivar rang with something in the
dark…
IVAR. I brought such a thing. I’ll tell you such a thing…
LENNON. Harlequin was sitting on the windowsill; I only saw his silhouette.
ULLE. It was winter.
ANU. Snow fell in the light of the lantern outside the window. I remember it was snowing.
KALLE KRISHNA. Tallinn. It’s my city.
LENNON. That evening we all took off. - DEPARTURE
LENNON. I am a unique person. I never enjoyed drugs.
KALLE KRISHNA. Come on.
LENNON. Yes, I swear to you. Ulle, why are you laughing?
ULLE. Just. Nothing. I remembered how we celebrated the ninth of October, and how someone
in only underwear ran around the farm, searching for a way out.
LENNON. This doesn’t mean I had a good time.
ULLE. Didn’t you feel good then? That night?
ANU. The doves cackled.
LENNON. We are not lovebirds, everything is fair with us – Ulle and I have free love. Come to
me Anu, do you want to be my girlfriend today?
ANU (laughing). Oh, leave me alone, Lennon, let me go.
KALLE KRISHNA. It seems to me that back then no one perceived drugs as entertainment. Do
you remember what Harlequin said?
LENNON. I remember.
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HARLEQUIN. Drugs are a way to learn about yourself and look behind the dial of the world.
IVAR. But it doesn’t hurt to get high either. What? Why are you looking at me? I’m just the only
one who tells the truth!
KALLE KRISHNA. There are different types of psychoactive substances. The coolest grass
grows in the center near the Lenin monument opposite the Central Committee of the
Communist Party of Petroleum.
ANU. It’s not growing anymore. Ivar tore it all out.
IVAR. I do this during the day, in front of party workers. ‘Cause none of them know what it is.
KALLE KRISHNA. It grew. And there was also diphenhydramine. Sometimes there was an
ointment to buy without a prescription.
ULLE. Disgusting stuff.
LENNON. We didn’t love it for its taste.
ANU. Cyclodol also. But I can’t have cyclodol. It makes my skin crawl and you walk all meaty
and naked.
LENNON. You’re not bad without your skin either.
ANU. Leave me alone, Lennon!
IVAR. When you thrip on cyclodol, the main thing is not to look at objects for more than five
minutes. You begin to fall inside them, like into liquid cement, deeper and deeper, and if by the
end of your trip you don’t make it out, then you’re stuck.
ULLE. Treftazine. Asthmatol.
LENNON. Yes, yes, it was a kind of tobacco for asthmatics that had to be brewed like tea.
ULLE. Taren or Aprofen…
KALLE KRISHNA. In principle, all the described effects can be achieved through meditation and
breathing exercises. You are too lazy to stop the whirlwind of consciousness and dissolve in the
fact of being.
LENNON. But at that time the most amazing thing was “Sopals” stain remover.
ANU. Sopals?
IVAR. Well done Anu! You guessed it. That is exactly what I brought.
LENNON. Sopals. With a red lid. Purchased from the household chemicals department.
IVAR. Because incenses are certainly cool, but what do we do next? The madman took care of
the evening in advance. Who’s cool? The madman is cool.
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LENNON. Ivar was unstoppable in this sense.
HARLEQUIN. So, that Mystical Illumination happened to me when I inhaled this amazing
psychoactive substance.
IVAR. By the way, another recipe. If you pour the cheapest port liquer into siphon, then one
bottle is enough to….
HARLEQUIN. Ivar, stop. Mystical Illumination.
IVAR. Mystical Illumination.
HARLEQUIN. Mystical Illumination.
ULLE. Harlequin soared in mystical illumination.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
LENNON. Harlequin glided through the astral plane.
KALLE KRISHNA. A reality that exists in the underbelly of worlds.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
ULLE. Harlequin soared like an eagle.
LENNON. Harlequin saw a dance.
ULLE. Dance of the Sleepers around the Dead.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
ANU. Alekin saw thousands of thousands of blind Pilgrims dancing around the Kremlin.
HARLEQUIN. Sleeping around the Dead.
LENNON. And above all this Harlequin soared like an eagle.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
ULLE. There in the world of spirits, around the Kremlin, blind pilgrims lead their astral round
dances.
IVAR. They pump the Kremlin with special magical powers.
KALLE KRISHNA. After all, there, in the mausoleum, lies the third Eye. He controls reality.
LENNON. He controls us all.
ANU. All the USSR, all fifteen union republics, the entire empire.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
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ULLE. The Empire feeds on the power of these blind men. By the power of this round dance.
KALLE KRISHNA. And on New Year’s Day the chimes begin to strike.
ANU. Chiming clock!
ULLE. The pilgrims speed up their dance!
ANU. The blind people start dancing like crazy!
IVAR. Unbearable patterns! Round dance patterns!
HARLEQUIN. Eye!
LENNON. The eye opens!
IVAR. The eye looks at the empire. He looks around all fifteen Union republics.
ANU. A fucking huge eye, with yellow veins, such a red old eye.
ULLE. The eye looks for several seconds.
KALLE KRISHNA. And then it closes.
LENNON. The eye closes.
IVAR. For a year. Until the next New Year’s chimes.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating. I have seen.
Pause.
IVAR. Well, that’s crap.
LENNON. Ha.
ANU. You went quite overboard.
HARLEQUIN. I have seen.
KALLE KRISHNA. I believe in mystical revelations. But not from a man who drives nails into his
forehead.
HARLEQUIN. You breathed Sopals, you were there?
LENNON. Under Sopals you can see anything you want.
HARLEQUIN. You will see! I will take you there and you will see everything for yourself!
KALLE KRISHNA. I don’t want to go to the mausoleum, I’ve already been there with my parents.
In fact.
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HARLEQUIN. This is not a glitch, it’s… it’s a mystical mechanism that controls us all! No one
believes me.
LENNON. It’s not that we don’t believe Harlequin. We don’t take it seriously.
ULLE. I believe you, Arlekishechka. And they are all fools.
IVAR. Enough talking. Let’s breathe.
ULLE. They said that if you exchange handkerchiefs with Sopals with someone, you can see
someone else’s trip.
LENNON. Give me yours, and I’ll give you mine.
ULLE. Take it from Anu. This is free love.
LENNON. Well stop pouting. Come here. Ulle-elfi-ears, come here.
KALLE KRISHNA. They said that under the advent of Sopals it was possible to control reality.
HARLEQUIN. This is a space for practical magic.
LENNON. Once, under Sopals, we influenced a bartender in a restaurant, and he kept pouring
us drinks until we took pity on him and stopped controlling him.
HARLEQUIN. Because it becomes completely, crystal, absolutely clear — the world available to
us is a deception.
LENNON. And our feelings are a deception.
ULLE. Well, sit alone then.
LENNON. But it wasn’t me who said it, it was Harlequin! Where did you go, Ulle, you’re already
annoying me!
ULLE. And there is also another effect — that everything that happened to you already
happened once. And you feel that everything that happens is repeating and repeating, again
and again, millions of billions of times. And it’s so annoying.
ANU. Also this strange thing is happening under Sopals. From some other spaces, from another
reality, the Joker is blown out by a metaphysical wind.
HARLEQUIN. Joker is a magic golem, projection of extraneous thoughts. The Joker can pretend
to be any person, his task is to deceive you, make you believe in
pseudoreality.
KALLE KRISHNA. But not me, not a real yogi.
HARLEQUIN. Beware of the Joker.
KALLE KRISHNA. An experienced psychonaut can easily spot the Joker. On the back of the
Joker’s head there is another face, you just need to slide behind him and look.
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LENNON. But it’s so damn hard to do when you’re tripping.
IVAR. Enough talking. Let’s breathe.
ULLE. And now I have this déjà vu again, everything is repeating and repeating so many times,
even before me, and even before….
KALLE KRISHNA. Well, as they say – hayre rama, hayre krishna, good gentlemen.
IVAR. And all the best to you.
HARLEQUIN. Let’s breathe.
Let’s breathe. Let’s breathe. Let’s breathe.
There are no people. People are just corners, convenient for the wind of consciousness to have
somewhere to blow out the garbage of reality. There are no people, people are corners into
which the wind has blown family photographs, randomly selected stones,
torn baubles
cracked cups
worn out envelope with a record
scarf with embroidered letter M
plastic cheburashka
bus ticket
glass with unfinished compote
meeting on the river
dusty day
alder branch
beetle in the window frame
second of January
cold cinema
footprint in the snow
dog hair on pants
cracked glasses
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apricot kernel
rotten russula
And besides this there is nothing.
There is still breathing.
Someone’s breathing can be heard in the emptiness.
HARLEQUIN. And I also see the square. And on the ground lies an object forgotten by
someone. I look closely at it and see. It is an iron flute. - IRON FLUTE
LENNON. Or rather it was a field. Such a huge hemp field. And in the middle there was a real
Buddhist monastery. With walls and gates and all the other things that a Buddhist monastery is
supposed to have.
ULLE. It seemed to me that some gophers were running near the wall, but when I approached,
everyone hid.
LENNON. Anu walked around him in a circle. Everyone stood in front of the gate – Ulle,
Harlequin and Krishna.
HARLEQUIN. How quiet it is here, do you hear?
LENNON. Let’s knock again. Open up! Hey! Open up!
ANU. This is a real Buddhist monastery. Holy shit.
KALLE KRISHNA. This is a Buryat datsan.
ANU. How do you know?
LENNON. That’s a stupid question. You can tell by yourself because on the gate there is a giant
image of Lenin on a red cloth.
ANU. It seems to me that you are looking for logic where it simply cannot exist.
LENNON. This is our Soviet Buryat datsan. Why are you arguing with me?
ANU. There is no wind, but the red cloth is swaying. Do you see?
HARLEQUIN. It is not swaying. Oh no, it is swaying.
ULLE. Where is it swaying? Although….
KALLE KRISHNA. No. It’s an illusion. There is no wind.
ANU. Take a closer look.
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Pause.
LENNON. Open up!
ULLE. Do not scream. It’s kind of creepy.
LENNON. Doing nothing is also creepy.
KALLE KRISHNA. Where is Ivar?
ANU. Oh true. Ivar was with us.
HARLEQUIN. Ivar!
LENNON. Ivar!
ULLE. Ivar, where are you?
IVAR. How did you manage to get so high? There wasn’t much there, literally just a tiny bit.
LENNON. It is not clear where Ivar was all this time.
IVAR. I went to the guard. The guard says the monks went to the collective farm to harvest
potatoes; they will return in the evening. And the keeper was urgently summoned to the city
executive committee. That’s why the monastery is closed.
LENNON. So. What are we doing here?
IVAR. You really somehow got stoned. You yourself were the first to shout, “let’s bounce and go
straight to the datsan.”
ULLE. Yes, I remember something like that… Something like that….
IVAR. It was Buryat plasticine. Do you know how it is collected? The most beautiful Buryat girls
go out to the field early in the morning, undress and run naked, banging deerskin tambourines
through the field until pollen covers their entire body. Then they get together and start helping
each other collect….
ULLE. Ivar, your fantasies make me sick. They make me sick all morning.
IVAR. You just had too much to smoke. Drink some water.
LENNON. And then I suggested returning to the city, buying wine, and hanging out with the
locals.
ULLE. You always offer the same thing.
LENNON. Because this recipe always works.
REPRESENTATIVE. Hello. Are these the same people we’ve been waiting for?
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LENNON. The keeper was the spitting image of Hans Gustavovich Pegelman, as he is depicted
on the monument. There was a monk with him. They called him “Your Holiness”
MONK. Yes, yes, they are your Holiness.
KALLE KRISHNA. Om mani padme hum!
KEEPER. Padme hum, comrades.
IVAR. Oh! We were told that you were summoned to the City Executive Committee.
KEEPER. They called. But I’m lucky, I can be with you and in the City Executive Committee at
the same time.
MONK. His Holiness is joking.
IVAR. You have a very nice datsan, your Holiness!
KEEPER. It doesn’t exist, it’s an illusion. But if to you it looks “Nice,” then I’m very pleased.
MONK. His Holiness is joking again.
LENNON. With your permission, we would like to explore the monastery.
KEEPER. You are wrong.
LENNON. Are we wrong?
KEEPER. You have come to receive the flute. You are Caleb, also known as Lennon?
LENNON. Yes, but…
KEEPER. And these are your friends – Harlequin, Ulle, Anu, Ivar and Kalle? Or is Kalle Krishna
better?
KALLE KRISHNA. It’s no surprise that he knows everything about us. In the state of satori, the
essence of things is revealed.
KEEPER. Satori has nothing to do with it. Ivar told our guard your names and he passed them
on to me.
MONK. But it is not important.
KEEPER. It doesn’t matter what our consciousness throws at us as explanations. According to
one version, you simply inhaled Sopals in a kindergarten in the center of Tallinn, where Lennon
works as a night guard
Pause.
KEEPER. And all around is Tallinn at night, and winter, and soft snow falls silently in the light of
the lanterns outside the windows.
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LENNON. Remember? How Krishna turned on incenses and how we played witches’ hammer.
And how Ivar got Sopals, and Harlequin talked about his mystical revelation.
KALLE KRISHNA. That’s exactly how it was. We inhaled Sopals and flew away.
ANU. Boys, I’m scared, I’m dizzy.
ULLE. Lennon?
LENNON. Perhaps. Perhaps this is the most truthful version, Your Holiness.
KEEPER. Equally as true as all other versions.
MONK. His Holiness is joking.
KEEPER. Or not.
MONK. But it is not important.
KEEPER. What matters is why we gathered here. Harlequin saw the structure of the world. He
saw the Kremlin and the Third Eye, which controls the empire…
HARLEQUIN. What did I say? And you didn’t believe me!
KEEPER. And now your mission is to destroy him.
IVAR. Whom?
KEEPER. Your task is to destroy the Eye and destroy the empire. With this magic flute.
LENNON. Is this a flute?
KEEPER. Yes.
LENNON. It’s a stick, not a flute. There are no holes in it. And it is entirely made of iron. Iron
stick.
KEEPER. But it’s a flute.
MONK. This flute belonged to Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.
KEEPER. And he put the scuba gear on her.
MONK. His Holiness is joking.
KEEPER. May be enough?
MONK. What exactly?
KEEPER. Maybe stop adding to what I say?
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MONK. Why?
KEEPER. Well, it’s just that every time I say something, you say that I’m joking. Every damn
time! Are you tired yet?
MONK. Big deal. I can remain silent altogether.
KEEPER. Well then, shut up. What’s the matter?
MONK. I don’t have to say anything at all. What?
KEEPER. Never mind.
Pause.
HARLEQUIN. Your Holiness…
KEEPER. Well, I just don’t understand… I asked!
HARLEQUIN. You said that we should destroy the empire… with this flute?
LENNON. He said the USSR. That we must destroy the USSR. And that it wasn’t all for nothing
that we met him.
KEEPER. Because you are the chosen ones.
LENNON. And that we must set out and destroy the evil empire.
KALLE KRISHNA. What would have happened if we refused?
LENNON. Ivar asked just that.
IVAR. What if we refuse?
KEEPER. Calle, remind the guys what the bodhisattva oath is?
KALLE KRISHNA. Help all living beings until every last one of them is freed from the chain of
suffering of old age, diseases of death and new rebirths.
KEEPER. And this takes a very, very, very long time, guys.
Pause.
IVAR. I can’t stand it when people threaten me.
LENNON. Can we think about it? On the sidelines?
Pause.
LENNON. And we thought.
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HARLEQUIN. I don’t understand. What are we? Don’t want to be chosen? We are the chosen
ones! We are like the hobbits and Gandalf, the fate of the Middle-earth depends on us.
IVAR. And Gandalf is, of course, you?
LENNON. I think that we shouldn’t strain ourselves. If you strain, then any trip will turn into a
bad trip. You need to slide.
IVAR. Who said I can’t slide?! I just don’t like being threatened.
LENNON. Girls? Ulle?
ULLE. I’m like you.
LENNON. Anu?
ANU. Well, what choice do I have if you have already decided everything?
KALLE KRISHNA. Let’s go down in history. They will say about us “those Tallinn hippies who
destroyed the USSR in ‘72.”
LENNON. Ivarische?
IVAR. I already said that I’m not afraid of anything. I’m not really sure how we’re going to kill that
eye with this thing, but I would try.
HARLEQUIN. Then we must tell His Holiness that…
LENNON. But His Holiness was nowhere to be found. Just as there was no monastery, field,
and everything else, because by this time the session had already begun. - THE SESSION
LENNON. It’s easy to get lost at the session, so many people, some unfamiliar hairy guy,
everything is in smoke and fumes.
ULLE. They are inviting us to drink for better focus, are you coming?
LENNON. Where?
ULLE. There…
IVAR. Look, it’s Lennon, Lennon, look at these girls! Come with us!
LENNON. Hello! I’ll hang out a little longer, and then I’ll go out for a breather.
KALLE KRISHNA. Denying yourself the use of the lower chakras, and skipping
sensual currents through the thousand-petalled sahasrara, you achieve prajnaparamita of the
fourth state literally in the very first pose…. Are you sure you want to know exactly what position
this happens in?
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HARLEQUIN. What is it? How? Visi? Vichy? Is it also a stain remover? It is very interesting!
ANU. Imagine, I was just backstage! The musicians are amazing! They treated me to beer!
Where is Ulle? I promised them that I would return with my girlfriend.
IVAR. It was the first time I saw a guitar broken on stage!
LENNON. It’s plywood.
IVAR. It was real, I stood next to the stage and saw for myself. A piece of the deck flew off and
bit into the cheek of some hippy, and he laughed like crazy and smeared blood from his cheek
onto his neighbors.
KALLE KRISHNA. And here is the Vishuddha chakra, associated with cognition in dreams, here
is Anahata, the heart chakra…
HARLEQUIN. From now on, you are all in my heart. You are all in my heart!
LENNON. Solo! Do a solo! Iron flute solo!
KALLE KRISHNA. And here Muladhara… Aren’t you ticklish?
HARLEQUIN. Come to me, my children, I will give you communion with light!
ULLE. We’re spinning, we’re spinning, we’re spinning!
IVAR. I’m growing through the clouds!
LENNON. I feel love!
ANU. I have the coolest leather pants in the Soviet Republic of Estonia!
SOMEONE. Oblaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Pause.
LENNON. For short moments of happiness, a person pays with long, dull melancholy.
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer questions.
LENNON. Why should a person pay for moments of happiness with long, dull melancholy? Is
this fair?
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer questions.
1ST POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal event at the Academy of Arts?
HARLEQUIN. Do you know why I am silent? Because I don’t have a mouth. Not at all, it’s
smooth as an ass.
2ND POLICEMAN. Who told you about the upcoming concert in Vyshgorod?
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KALLE KRISHNA. Two, four, seven, sixteen.
1ST POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge, who else was with
you?
ANU. If we dress you in normal clothes, you will look even cuter.
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer questions.
ANU. My classmate went into the police force. He was in love with me, can you imagine. His
name was Martin. Goose Martin. Such a boring guy.
1ST POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge, who else was with
you?
LENNON. Let go of my hand, you bastard, you’ll break it.
2ND POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge, who else was with
you?
ULLE. Lennon. I mean Caleb. Is he with you? Did you take him too?
1ST POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal concert at the Academy of Arts?
HARLEQUIN. I imagine a stairway to heaven. A beautiful stairway to heaven. And along it I rise
to the first heaven. The first heaven is the heaven of polite righteous people, here everyone
says “thank you” and “please…”
2ND POLICEMAN. Who told you about the upcoming concert in an abandoned academy?
1ST POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal event under the bridge?
LENNON. If this is a hangover, then I will never drink again in my life. I will never drink again in
my life. I swear.
2ND POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal concert at the Academy of Arts under
the bridge in Vyshgorod?
KALLE KRISHNA. Two, four, seven, sixteen, this is the phone. I don’t see you writing anything
down. Or you remembered that?
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
ANU. And besides, I’m on my period, if you’re wondering.
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions. Who was the organizer of the
illegal concert at the Academy of Arts? Who was in Vyshgorod? Who was at the academy?
19
LENNON. This is some kind of crap, I don’t understand anything.
2ND POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal concert at the event?
ULLE. He’s the one with the glasses. Such round glasses, smart eyes. He is very kind.
1ST POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer. Who was the organizer?
ULLE. He has narrow fingers. When he laughs quietly, he touches his nose.
2ND POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal… do not get distracted from the
questions.
KALLE KRISHNA. Did you call or not? Have you called yet? What did they answer?
1ST POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal concert at the event?
HARLEQUIN. In the sixteenth level of heaven we will be met by people who have warmed
others all their lives. In the seventeenth level of heaven lives a baby with the gaze of an eagle.
In the eighteenth…
2ND POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge who else was with
you?
ANU. It stinks here. What is this smell? Or is it just me? And it drips. Something drips here all
the time.
1ST POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge who else was with you?
2ND POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge who else was with
you?
1ST POLICEMAN. When you were offered, who was the organizer?
LENNON. Let me go. Please.
1ST POLICEMAN. When you were offered to go down under the bridge who else was with you?
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
KALLE KRISHNA. What date is today? Have you called yet? This is my parents’ number.
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
ANU. I want to go home.
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions. Answer the questions.
ULLE. More questions?
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
20
2ND POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
1ST POLICEMAN. Do not get distracted. Answer the questions.
IVAR. Aaaaaaaah! Enough! Enough, I said!
Pause.
LENNON. Ivar, what’s going on?
IVAR. It’s me.
KALLE KRISHNA. What you?
IVAR. It’s because of me. All of it is because of me. You said slide, but I can’t. I can’t slide
anymore!
HARLEQUIN. The boy is hysterical. And we’re stuck here. Because of him.
LENNON. Harlequin wait. Ivar?
IVAR. I can’t.
ULLE. Ivar, dear…
IVAR. I can’t, Ulle. They screwed me at the session. I screamed and fought, and they…
HARLEQUIN. You didn’t need to talk to them from the very beginning, they’re Jokers. And you
don’t need to talk to him, these are just entities that Sopalsom brought on.
LENNON. Harlequin, I asked you!
HARLEQUIN. We’re wasting time.
LENNON. Harlequin!
IVAR. I was ashamed and put on a cap. Not because it was like Ringo’s.
ANU. Ivar, your hair, your hair…
LENNON. Ivar had a gorgeous hair, until the cops shaved him bald after some session. But that
was not the main thing. The main thing was fear.
IVAR. I’ve never been afraid of anyone.
LENNON. He became afraid.
IVAR. And every time I think — I’m scared, I shouldn’t be afraid, otherwise I’ll have a bad trip, I
shouldn’t be afraid of anything, but I’m scared, scared, scared!
21
KALLE KRISHNA. Well, I do not know. You need to breathe correctly and relax your stomach,
and the fear will go away. I always do this.
ANU. Poor Ivar.
HARLEQUIN. It is time. We have a mission.
LENNON. You can’t leave him.
HARLEQUIN. We will stay here because of him forever. But we can’t stay. Right, Ivar?
LENNON. Don’t put pressure on him, he’s already scared!
IVAR. You can’t stay. I have to do it myself. I’ll deal with this. They will interrogate me and
release me. Right? What will they do to me? They will question me and release me. And then I’ll
catch up with you. I’ll come to Harlequin’s flat. Krishna will bring tea. Real Indian, just the way I
like it. We will make tea, put on the vinyl, drink tea and relax. And look out the window. Yes? Is
everything okay?
LENNON. Ivar.
IVAR. Go already.
1ST POLICEMAN. Don’t get distracted, answer the questions.
IVAR. I’m not distracted, I’m ready.
2ND POLICEMAN. Who was the organizer of the illegal concert at the Academy of Arts?
IVAR. Even if I knew, I would not tell you.
Pause.
LENNON. We parted ways with him. I haven’t seen Ivar for many years. They say that he was
screwed at some session, he hit a policeman real hard, he was tried, he served two years for
malicious hooliganism.
ULLE. He was so hot-tempered and uncontrollable, our Ivar. In prison he became friends with
some criminals, and when he was free he tried to get a job. They didn’t take him anywhere.
KALLE KRISHNA. I tried to help him get a job as a gardener in the park, but he didn’t last long.
He got drunk and burned down the house with his tools. Then he tried to rob a post office. He
went to prison again.
LENNON. In prison he contracted tuberculosis. It burned him down in three years.
ANU. He was like gunpowder, our Ivar. One spark was enough.
IVAR. I like to be called Madman, I also like to be called Tree, but most of all I like to be called
Ringo.
22 - ON THE ROAD
LENNON. “On the Road” was written on the bus, all over its side. Ken Kesey, I’m sure, had
exactly the same bus.
KALLE KRISHNA. It’s unlikely that Kizi had such a chic beat-up YERAZ bus.
ANU. Hey people! Where are you coming from dressed so nice?
2ND HIPPIE. We are from Kyiv! Come with us, beauty, there’s enough room!
LENNON. Where are you going?
1ST HIPPIE. Don’t you know, dude? Mert Horse and Alik Kosoy announced an all-Union
congress of the system.
2ND HIPPIE. There will be a new Woodstock! On islands! We’ll listen to music, make love and
all that! Get in, there’s wine and goodies!
KALLE KRISHNA. Maybe we should go there? All of our people are there.
HARLEQUIN. But we have to go to the Kremlin. Do you remember what the lama said?
KALLE KRISHNA. Yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help.
LENNON. All-Union Congress of Hippies, can you imagine what a crazy amount of people will
gather there? There will be the oldest guys in the system, real sages.
HARLEQUIN. Well I don’t know….
2ND HIPPIE. Here you go, beauty, I wove it myself.
ANU. Nice pattern, man.
2ND HIPPIE. All my libido is in this pattern, girl.
1ST HIPPIE. This is regular ink. But it goes down very well. This is liquid peace and liquid lava
— take them inside, man, peace and love, man.
KALLE KRISHNA. This is not wine, this is soma, this is the drink of the gods. It seems to me I
haven’t tasted anything better. Do you have an extra sleeping bag?
HARLEQUIN. You’re a yogi, why do you need a sleeping bag?
1ST HIPPIE. There are no sleeping bags, but there are blankets, there are fields, forests and
rivers. We will swim naked, sunbathe in the sun, and smoke under the stars, run through the
fields, bake potatoes in fire, and ask for change.
ANU. And I can sing California Dreamin’ in exchange for food.
2ND HIPPIE. You are small but very valuable. Jump to me.
23
ANU. Dudes, I want to go with them. Let’s go with them!
KALLE KRISHNA. Can you imagine how many enlightened people will gather there? All yogis of
the USSR. Wisdom in buckets, not even buckets, prajnas!
1ST HIPPIE. Now think about what transenergy channel will open in that place? Four trees thick
and tall, from earth to sky! Can you imagine?
KALLE KRISHNA. Like a fucking size of a glowing umbilical cord!
1ST HIPPIE. Right to the point!
HARLEQUIN. Well, in principle, you can make a stop. Let’s see psychotechnics from there….
LENNON. It’s decided! Let’s go.
ULLE. Let’s go!
LENNON. No! We’re not going! We’re not going!
ULLE. Lennon? Guys, there is something wrong with Lennon, Lennon?
LENNON. I’m Lennon. I mean… I’m Lennon. I am Lennon!
ULLE. What do you mean by“ you are Lennon”?
LENNON. One point needs to be clarified here. When you are possessed by a demon, you roll
your eyes, drop foam, speak in an inhuman bass voice and arch your body. When the spirit of
John Lennon enters you, you experience an awesome joyful feeling, as if you were pumped full
of champagne, in which instead of bubbles there are stars. I have John Lennon in me and I am
the coolest hippie in the world! Hey, system, the spirit of John Lennon has overshadowed this
body and greets you all! All you need is love, brothers and sisters!
ULLE. Hello John! How can you prove it?
LENNON. And here I do what only John Lennon and no one else can do. All shocked.
Pause.
KALLE KRISHNA. Come on?
LENNON. And here I am again doing what only John Lennon and no one else can do. And
everyone is completely shocked.
Pause.
HARLEQUIN. I don’t know about the others, but I’m shocked.
KALLE KRISHNA. Yes, this is the real spirit of John Lennon!
ULLE. John, how long will you be in the body… in this body?
24
LENNON. Do you want me to leave Caleb and go away?
ULLE. No, of course I’m very glad to see you, but…
HARLEQUIN. Ulle, what are you saying?! How can we exchange this Lennon for ours?
Lennon? John, make yourself at home, John! Stay with us forever! I’m sure Caleb doesn’t mind!
KALLE KRISHNA. John, clear this up about Paul. Is he alive, or is it a damn double? How to
figure this out, John!
ANU. John, tell me it’s not true that you broke up because of Yoko, she’s so cool!
ULLE. Don’t get me wrong, John, you’re God, but I’m used to a different Lennon.
HARLEQUIN. Do you see how ungrateful these people are, John? Take my body, John!
LENNON. Wait, not all at once. I am not here for a long time. It’s difficult for me to maintain our
connection, and it’s time for me to go back. I came to warn you — you shouldn’t go to the
islands.
ANU. Wait, is this really the real Lennon?
LENNON. You don’t need to go to the islands, because this whole congress is an undercover
KGB operation that was invented to catch the entire hippie system of the USSR together.
1ST HIPPIE. Did your friend eat something sour? Is he feeling bad?
LENNON. And these people on the bus do not exist at all, they are just a mental projection of
your consciousness, your fatigue. They are what you want to see, they are emptiness.
2ND HIPPIE. Who else is an empty space here, dude?
1ST HIPPIE. Stop swearing, man, peace and love, peace and love!
LENNON. Have you forgotten who you are and why you were called? Would I have come to you
if you were not chosen? You keep Jen Andersen’s iron flute!
1ST HIPPIE. Your friend overdosed. Let’s tie him up until he lets go?
ULLE. Walk away from him quickly.
1ST HIPPIE. I am not touching him, I didn’t even touch him with a finger! Peace and love, girl!
2ND HIPPIE. I don’t understand — are you coming with us or not? It’s time for us to go, decide.
LENNON. You must fulfill your destiny before everyone is screwed.
2ND HIPPIE. Anu, jump to us! It’s time to hit the road!
ANU. You know what… Take your bauble, dude.
25
2ND HIPPIE. What are you doing?
ANU. I didn’t tell you that my name is Anu. You can’t know my name.
2ND HIPPIE. So what?
ANU. You are not real.
1ST HIPPIE. Real or fake, what’s the difference? This is all conventional nonsense that our
parents at home, bosses at work, and guys on TV feed us! They just want to use us, they want
to exploit us, to turn us into slaves of their material world! Fuck this reality! Long live unreality!
2ND HIPPIE. But you like me! Anu!
KALLE KRISHNA. Go without us, guys. Om mani padme hum.
1ST HIPPIE. All the hippies will gather on the islands, and there we will create a kingdom of
love and flowers. You’ve already screwed up one Woodstock, do you really want to screw up
the second one?
HARLEQUIN. Get out, demons, get out. We have things to do.
ANU. Go without me. You’re a cool projection. You should be cool because I invented you the
way I need you. But not now. Another time, another place. You understand yourself.
1ST HIPPIE. Just allow yourself…
2ND HIPPIE. Wait, brother. They won’t come with us, can’t you see? Anu… I understand
everything, Anu. I only say what you want to hear, but I sincerely believe in what I say. You are
the most beautiful girl in the world.
ANU. And you are the most beautiful glitch in the world.
2ND HIPPIE. Glitches are not repeated. Especially the most beautiful ones. Bye-bye, Anu.
ANU. Bye-bye, my friend.
1ST HIPPIE. Peace and love, dudes, peace and love…
The hippies, inconspicuously, as if it were a hallucination, disappear. Pause.
ULLE. This is how the world works, Anu. First the soup, and only then the ice cream.
LENNON. Yoko is the light of my life.
ANU. What are you saying there?
LENNON. You asked and I answer. Yoko is the light of my life.
Pause.
26
ULLE. So what should we do next, John?
KALLE KRISHNA. And what about Paul?
HARLEQUIN. John?
ULLE. John? Are you here?
LENNON. People, I’m still with you. That is, a part of the spirit of John Lennon is still in me. And
do you know what it tells me? That the celebration continues. And that, in principle, nothing
terrible will happen if we go to the islands, properly party there, and then move further.
ULLE. Well, you’re an asshole.
LENNON. Hey, I heard what John said too. That doesn’t mean that we cannot rest before
performing heroic deeds.
KALLE KRISHNA. Why did John Lennon choose that asshole’s body over mine?
HARLEQUIN. Where we are going?
ANU. There. Or there. What difference does it make where? Are there even directions here?
HARLEQUIN. Let’s go ahead. It’s time to hit the road, on the road.
ULLE. Are you with us?
LENNON. It’s not me with you, it’s you with me. The flute was actually given to me, not to you.
Ulle! Where are you going?
Pause. Everyone except Lennon left.
LENNON. Wait for me! I’m with you! Wait!
He also leaves.
It’s dark and quiet. After some time, the light of the lanterns. Two policemen are approaching —
an elderly one and a young one.
ELDERLY. They called from a neighboring house. People can’t sleep.
YOUNG. Isn’t a guard supposed to be here?
ELDERLY. He should. That’s why they called — a group of people were walking around the
kindergarten with some lights that were burning and all that.
YOUNG. It’s so quiet. And dark.
ELDERLY. That’s how it should be. They usually chase us around here before the New Year.
My knee is like a heron’s, it bends in the wrong direction. Crap.
27
YOUNG. Knee?
ELDERLY. What a fucking knee. I found it.
YOUNG. What’s there?
ELDERLY. Ooooh, they’re already good. All a little warm. So…. Four men and two women.
Cute. Will you take a look?
YOUNG. Yes, but…
ELDERLY. What are you afraid of? These aren’t corpses.
YOUNG. Not corpses?
ELDERLY. Unconscious. The pupils do not react to light. Pulse… fuck knows. There seems to
be a pulse.
YOUNG. Are they drunk? The smell is strange…
ELDERLY. Yes. It’s this bottle that stinks. The rags are kind of smelly. Drug addicts.
YOUNG. Who?
ELDERLY. Drug addicts. Nowadays there is a craze among young people. You should know
yourself — you are young.
YOUNG. I’m not into this.
ELDERLY. Well, I am going to call an ambulance, and you guard them here. So that they don’t
die here.
YOUNG. Fine.
ELDERLY. The ambulance will come and quickly bring them to their senses.
YOUNG. Fine.
ELDERLY. They are chasing us around here and there, they are running us down here and
there… And I have a bad knee. If someone starts vomiting, turn them over on their stomach.
YOUNG. Fine.
The old man leaves. Quiet and dark.
PART TWO. - ASTRAL POLICE
LENNON. Harlequin always has a cart full of explanations:
28
HARLEQUIN. The astral cops who sensed Ivar’s fear, they hang out here for a reason. They
protect the astral plane from the invasion of psychonauts. People like us. Here they have astral
cops and astral vigilantes and generally a complete astral Ministry of Internal Affairs.
KALLE KRISHNA. But we seem to have fought back?
HARLEQUIN. Here we fought back, but there we didn’t.
KALLE KRISHNA. What does it mean?
HARLEQUIN. Astral cops telepathically brought real cops to our bodies. And they will now call
an ambulance. It will come to the kindergarten where our lifeless bodies are lying, and there we
will get a syringe of adrenaline in the heart, and that’s it, amba.
LENNON. Harlequin also explained what amba means.
HARLEQUIN. We are balls floating in the heavenly ether, tied by a long rope
to our bodies. If you pull the strings sharply, then consciousness can fly out and stay here,
above, and only part of yourself will return to your body. Maybe no one will notice the difference,
but you will live the rest of your life with a split soul, which, in general, is quite scary.
LENNON. Harlequin didn’t explain why it would be scary, but we all got it. Except Anu.
ANU. I don’t care. I already have a split soul. Maybe I became a hippie because I have a split
soul in general.
LENNON. Anu seems to be fed up with all this.
ANU. And in general, I’m fed up with all this.
KALLE KRISHNA. If we are pulled out of here, we will not fulfill our purpose.
ANU. Do you really believe that we can destroy the Soviet Union? It cannot be destroyed! I was
at school when adults started whispering that in Prague they had decided to change something.
And what happened to them and their revolution? Where are they all? It’s 1972, look around!
LENNON. There was hell knows what all around, it’s true.
ULLE. If we don’t complete the task, all our people will be tied up by the KGB. You heard what
John Lennon said about the fake hippie rally, right? Or you don’t believe John Lennon?
ANU. And do you believe him? Do you believe, Ulla, that we will get into the astral Kremlin and
somehow blow everything up there? With a flute that you can’t even fucking play? And that this
whole fucking gray scoop will immediately fall apart, and
Communist Party of the Soviet Union and fifteen fucking union republics? And the KGB will
immediately correct itself, become fucking good, call off its people and stop its fucking
operations? Do you really believe this? Ulle, are you still a pioneer? How old are you? Thirteen?
ULLE. And what do you suggest?
29
ANU. And what do you suggest? What are you all suggesting? We are too weak. We don’t know
how to fight. We are flower children. I want to go to my mother. Mother!
ULLE. Anu, you said it right, we are flower children. And we don’t know how to fight. But this is
also our strength.
ANU. Idiot hippie slogans. Make love, note war. I don’t believe it.
ULLE. But it’s true, our strength is love. And we love you. I love you and Lennon loves you.
LENNON. I’m subscribing.
ANU. Fuck you!
HARLEQUIN. And I love you, dude.
KALLE KRISHNA. And I. And Ivar too. He is not with us, but he loves you.
ANU, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, everyone, go to hell!
LENNON. What are you doing? Are you crying?
ULLE. Don’t touch her. She is tired. Let her cry. Can I hug you? Like this.
KALLE KRISHNA. How unbearably light…
HARLEQUIN. This police-intern is shining a flashlight into our eyes. It’s a pity that the
connection with my body is especially weakened now, otherwise I would have given him the
order to fart properly.
Pause.
YOUNG. Anu…. Anu? Anu, wake up…
Pause.
LENNON. Anu? Does he know you?
Pause.
YOUNG. Anu? It’s me, Martin… Anu?
Pause.
ANU. I love you all too. Excuse me.
LENNON. What are you talking about?
YOUNG. Anu!
ANU. Martin the goose…
30
YOUNG. Exactly! Goose Martin! You teased me like that at school!
ANU. My head….
YOUNG. Do you want some water? The ambulance is coming now…
ANU. No need for an ambulance.
YOUNG. Why? The people over there. They feel bad.
ANU. No need for an ambulance, Martin. Call them, tell them they don’t need an ambulance.
YOUNG. What if something happens to them? Right? Or rather, something has already
happened to them! Right? Well, in general, I can’t do that, it’s like, well, this is my job? Right?
We were called, and here we are…
ANU. Martin, do you remember you followed me from school? I was in front and you we were
behind.
Pause.
YOUNG. I thought you didn’t notice me. But you noticed?
ANU. I noticed.
YOUNG. I wanted to help you carry your backpack, but I was shy.
ANU. Help me.
YOUNG. Help you?
ANU. Help me Martin. No need for an ambulance, Martin. Let me lean on you… You are so
warm, Martin…. Let’s go… Let’s get out of here.
LENNON. And they left. And we were left dangling, tied by the leg to our bodies, drawn
somewhere down there on the kindergarten beds.
ANU. Martin and I got married six months later. It seemed to me — why wait? Ideal men exist
only in girls’ fantasies. You can live your whole life waiting for your ideal. And Martin is a good
option, he will always be there. He loved me very much and of course was happy to become my
husband. He is boring, but also reliable. He made me feel calm and confident, and I never, ever
questioned whether I loved him. It was I who persuaded Martin to enroll in a military school;
career military personnel were entitled to an apartment, and that suited me. Martin loved me
and did everything as I told him. He wanted children, but I didn’t, I didn’t, and he agreed with this
decision of mine as well. And then there was Afghanistan. Martin went there as part of
peacekeeping forces, and when I found out that he would not return, at the first second I did not
feel anything. For me, this was not some kind of a new condition; I did not feel anything during
the seven years of our marriage. But then the next second, the next second, I felt that I couldn’t
breathe. I can’t breathe in the air, it’s like I am in space. And so from that moment until now I
could not breathe. Because my faithful boring Martin is not next to me. Martin, who loved me so
much, but I didn’t love him.
31 - ANCESTORIAL SPIRITS
KALLE KRISHNA. Why did you decide that?
HARLEQUIN. Why did I decide? Why did all humanity, all the religious saints, decide, why did
all the enlightened and other wise women decide! Read any decent book! What is written in the
Tibetan Book of the Dead? – “Don’t be afraid! Don’t give in to the confusion! In fact, this is the
Heavenly Father — Mather Vairocana, but in your thoughts they now look different. Rejected,
they replaced Love with Anger.”
ULLE. This is about some other gods, buy you are talking about “Ancestral Spirits.”
HARLEQUIN. “Some gods?” Did you say about the heavenly Father and Mother Vairochana
“some kind of gods”?
LENNON. Don’t pick on her, she didn’t study mystical literature.
HARLEQUIN. What is she doing here if “she hasn’t studied mystical literature”? I am telling you
again — on any spiritual journey, sooner or later the Spirits of the Ancestors will arise and will
pull the traveler back into the earthly slavery of death and rebirth.
ULLE. Okay, Ancestral Spirits. And what are they?
KALLE KRISHNA. According to Harlequin sources, the Ancestor Spirits have six legs, four
arms, they are white, engulfed in flames, and in their hands they hold a knife and a cup of blood.
And these are the most decent ones.
HARLEQUIN. “Recognize them, accept them as they are, and accept them into yourself, into
your Temple – and you will be saved!”
ULLE. What does it mean to “receive them into your Temple?”
HARLEQUIN. No, this is not about sex, as you might think, baby. Ancestral Spirits is sa terrible
thing that appears out of nowhere…
TELEPHONIST. You gave us the number.
HARLEQUIN. Yes, I almost shit myself!
TELEPHONIST. Confirm the dialed number.
LENNON. What number? Who are you anyway?
TELEPHONIST. Two, four, seven, sixteen. The number was dialed correctly.
KALLE KRISHNA. Damn it. Let’s leave.
TELEPHONIST. Connecting. Wait for an answer.
ULLE. What’s happened? Krishna, do you know what is happening?
32
KALLE KRISHNA. We’re leaving, we’re leaving, we’re leaving. Just be quiet!
ULLE. Where are you pushing us?
KALLE KRISHNA. We are going over there along the stairs to the second floor. Fast!
LENNON. And what’s in there?
KALLE KRISHNA. That’s where my room is. Fast! Don’t make such a noise, you will wake them
up!
HARLEQUIN. Whom?
MAMA KALLE. Kalle, where are you going?
PAPA KALLE. Good evening. Or rather night. Would you like to introduce us to the guys?
KALLE KRISHNA. Dad, we won’t be long. We’ll sit for a bit and then the guys will leave.
PAPA KALLE. Let the guys pass, and you stay for a while.
MAMA-KALLE. Kalle will catch up with you guys.
LENNON. Fine. Kalle, will you catch up with us?
PAPA-KALLE. And this thing, young man, can be left here, in the stand for umbrellas.
HARLEQUIN. Oh my gosh, this thing is an umbrella stand? Wow!
LENNON. It’s not a thing, it’s my flute. And I’d rather take it with me.
MAMA-KALLE. I hope you won’t play it loudly, it’s late.
HARLEQUIN. We don’t promise.
ULLE. Krishna, we will wait for you in the room!
PAPA-KALLE. Krishna? Who is Krishna here? Kalle?
MAMA-KALLE. Will you have some pancakes? From village cottage cheese. Although, they are
cold.
KALLE KRISHNA. They won’t, they’re full.
MAMA-KALLE. But they look hungry. And unhappy.
LENNON. No, thanks, we’re really full. Let’s go! Where is this fucking room…
PAPA-KALLE. Looks like someone said a bad word here!
ULLE. There is a Mask of the God of Death on the door! Krishna’s room! Let’s go! Krishna’s
parents are just fucked up.
33
HARLEQUIN. What a gorgeous flat, so many bookcases with books! I always knew that Krishna
is loaded.
ULLE. Lennon, did you see? His mom looked at me like I was a prostitute!
PAPA-KALLE. Kalle, who are these people?
MAMA-KALLE. This girl, she looks like a real prostitute. And the rest are no better — real
ragamuffins. This guy with crazy eyes… won’t he steal anything from us?
KALLE KRISHNA. Is that all you wanted to say? Then I will go to join my friends who are waiting
for me.
PAPA-KALLE. No. Not all. The police called us. You and other “friends” were detained after
some concert. One of your “friends” attacked a policeman.
KALLE KRISHNA. Everything did not happen like that. A group of them grabbed Ivar and beat
him, and Ivar was just lying there and covering his head and stomach. And then one of them
had a shaving machine. They broke here and they started shaving him bald because they were
infuriated by his long hair. And then he broke free, grabbed the cop closest to him, crushed him
under him and didn’t let go anymore.
MAMA-KALLE. Well, listen to yourself, what are you saying? Our Soviet policemen are shaving
some hooligan in a crowd… Nonsense!
PAPA-KALLE. Although it wouldn’t hurt to shave these tramps. And send him to the army.
There they will be taught to be men.
KALLE KRISHNA. Then I need to join the army too!
MAMA-KALLE. Your destiny is different, Kalle. You are the best student at school, they are
waiting for you in Moscow, next week you have to go submit documents to Moscow State
University.
KALLE KRISHNA. They are waiting for us at Moscow State University not because I’m a cool
student, but because dad, you are the head of an automobile plant, and mom, you are the head
of the city library!
PAPA-KALLE. No, not only. You know it about yourself — you are the chosen one.
KALLE KRISHNA. Yes, I am the chosen one! I am the chosen one!
PAPA-KALLE. And the rector of Moscow State University says the same thing. They have a
small pool for admission from our republic, and believe me, the best people in the country
graduated from this university.
MAMA-KALLE. Chosen ones.
KALLE KRISHNA. I’m not interested! I’m a yogi!
PAPA-KALLE. We hear you, Kalle, do you think we don’t hear you?
34
MAMA-KALLE. We talked with the rector about your admission to the Department of Eastern
Countries, you will be able to continue studying what interests you. But seriously, and not just to
flaunt distorted Sanskrit in front of the hood’s hooligans.
PAPA-KALLE. Don’t reject our love, Kalle.
KALLE KRISHNA. I’m in the system. And these are my friends.
MAMA-KALLE. The Soviet Union is also a system, Kalle. And you need to know this system and
survive in it. We will make sure you live a wonderful life.
PAPA-KALLE. A full life of a Soviet citizen.
MAMA-KALLE. You will be the elite of our socialist system, and you will communicate with your
own kind — smart and cheerful people who are also doing well in life. And they too will be the
chosen ones, just like you!
PAPA-KALLE. You will meet interesting people, travel abroad, work doing what you love, relax
at a luxurious state dacha…
MAMA-KALLE. You will enjoy life and not deny yourself anything…
PAPA-KALLE. You will have your favorite music, in your huge office you will listen to it on
beautiful Japanese equipment, read an American art magazine, sipping grappa bought in Italy…
MAMA-KALLE. But without abusing alcohol, of course…
PAPA-KALLE. You will have a beautiful wife and four bright-eyed children, in your cozy and
spacious home there will be sun and happiness…
MAMA-KALLE. And the shaggy dog will run ahead, along the path to the fun driver…
PAPA KALLE. …in black gloves…
MAMA-KALLE. …who will be waiting for you at the service Volga…
PAPA-KALLE. …to take you boating because it’s Sunday and a day off….
MAMA-KALLE. Don’t reject our love, because we want the best for you.
KALLE KRISHNA. Lennon! Ulle! Harlequin!
LENNON. Why are you yelling? You yourself told us to be quiet. Look what Harlequin came up
with! Harlequin is a genius.
HARLEQUIN. As soon as I walked in I understood. You don’t need this thing. It was standing
here just like that. I’ll put it under my jacket, and we’ll take it out quietly. Then we will sell it, I
even know to whom, and with the proceeds we will go to Tajikistan. As soon as we’re done with
the scoop, we’ll rush right away. Do you remember you told us about your hitchhiking to
Dushanbe?
35
KALLE KRISHNA. Yes I remember. Here’s the thing…
LENNON. Harlequin came up with this!
ULLE. Boys, you are idiots. Where do your parents hide the pancakes, I’m so hungry…
LENNON. What do you mean, Ulle, you’re not with us? She’s all, like, righteous!
ULLE. I’m with you, with you. But only if Krishna agrees. Damn, how delicious! There’s just not
enough jam. Krishna, of course you’re in on it, aren’t you?
KALLE KRISHNA. I am staying.
LENNON. What?
KALLE KRISHNA. Harlequin, put the vase back. It is not yours. Ulle, close the refrigerator. I am
staying with my parents.
HARLEQUIN. Don’t give in to the confusion! In fact, these are the Heavenly Father—Mother
Vairocana, but in your Thoughts they now look different. Rejected, they replaced Love with
Anger. Recognize them, accept them as they are, and accept them into yourself, into your
Temple – and you will be saved!
KALLE KRISHNA. Fuck you, Harlequin.
LENNON. Are you serious, friend?
KALLE KRISHNA. Lennon, they want what’s best for me.
ULLE. What about us? Don’t we want the best for you? For you and all the people in the world?
KALLE KRISHNA. And you are following the path of destruction and you are leading me along
the path of destruction. And all that awaits us in the end is destruction. And we must create, not
destroy.
ULLE. This is not destruction, we are saving the world, Krishna!
KALLE KRISHNA. My name is Kalle. And I’m doing well, although not exactly as my parents
described. I have a big rich house, but no family, I will never have a beautiful wife and four
children. I don’t like women at all. When I stopped deceiving myself, I realized this. And I
forbade myself to think about men. I don’t think that I live an unhappy life. Boring doesn’t mean
unhappy. I have a good career in party lines. I rose to the point where I was given a huge office
in the very center of Tallinn. Overlooking the square. My first task in my new position was to
give an order to cut off all suspicious weeds near the Lenin monument and plant a lawn there. - FOOL
HARLEQUIN. He has always been a rich brat and will always remain a rich brat. Not a big loss.
Wait for me here.
LENNON. Where are you going?
36
HARLEQUIN. Where do you think I get the magic pills for my psycho-revelations?
LENNON. Where do you get your magic pills for your psycho-revelations?
HARLEQUIN. You have to use the system. Once a week I go to a psychiatrist. I show her my
drawings and we talk.
ULLE. Why do you need it?
HARLEQUIN. You don’t need this, you’re a girl. And Lennon doesn’t need to, he’ll go to college,
and they’ll give him a deferment from the army, and then he’ll start making one baby a year, and
that’s how he’ll go in the end. But I need a diagnosis.
LENNON. Come on, I don’t need to make any babies, I’d rather join the army. Yes, Ulle? Will
you wait for me?
ULLE. I really don’t need you! You can go even now.
LENNON. Why did you get so tense right away?
ULLE. I didn’t get tense, on the contrary, I chilled out and invited you to go wherever you want.
LENNON. Well, what do you mean by wherever you want?
ULLE What am I to you?
HARLEQUIN. Dudes…
LENNON. In what sense what are you to me? Can you say it normally?
ULLE. I am speaking normally, I am normally interested — what am I to you. Another girlfriend?
“Babe”?
HARLEQUIN. Dudes…
LENNON. Well, yes. What’s the problem? We’re hippies, we have free love, is that bad?
ULLE. Lennon said that Yoko was the light of his life.
HARLEQUIN. Dudes. I will go. Wait for me here, okay?
LENNON. That is Lennon! And I’m not Lennon, I’m… I’m not a real fucking Lennon!
ULLE. Yes, that’s right, you’re just a fake!
LENNON. Oh, call me whatever you want, in general, read my lips — I don’r give a fuck!
ULLE. You never gave a fuck!
LENNON. And I didn’t hide it! Did I hide it? I’m a hippie, I shouldn’t give a fuck about anything
except world peace! Maybe that’s why the higher powers chose me, because I don’t give a fuck.
37
ULLE. In that case, I was not. I was not chosen!
LENNON. Well, I can’t help you here. The fate of the universe depends on me, and you can go
and…
ULLE. And what?
LENNON. And whatever you want.
ULLE. Well? Finish your sentence. Where did you send me? To fuck someone I suppose?
LENNON. Don’t fuck my brain, okay?
ULLE. Fuck you.
LENNON. Fuck you. I don’t know why we broke up then. I didn’t even understand what started
the fight, but according to some logic that only exists in a dream, I suddenly found myself
completely alone, fuck knows in what place, with painted ceilings, and smells of dampness and
medicine.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Are you going to Gunnar?
LENNON. What? Where was I going with this?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Are you related to Gunnar?
LENNON. I don’t understand. Sorry. I do not understand anything.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Are you feeling well? Do you need help?
ULLE. What happened to him?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. I wanted to find out from you what happened to him, girl! And what was
the prerequisite for a suicide?
ULLE. It wasn’t a suicide.
PSYCHOTERPET. What do you think it was? Just a couple more millimeters and the nail could
have damaged the brain. Gunnar is now in an extremely serious condition and needs medical
attention.
LENNON. So you mean Harlequin? He is OK! Where is he?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Are you one of those too?
ULLE. Which ones? Why are you looking at me like that?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Your pupils are dilated, come here, don’t be afraid.
ULLE. For what?
38
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. I won’t even lay a finger on you. Can you walk along this straight crack in
the floor?
ULLE. Harlequin? Lennon?! Where are you?! I fell into some kind of crack, I don’t understand
where I am!
LENNON. But today is Friday?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. And what?
LENNON. You said that we could visit him on Friday.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. He’s undergoing procedures.
LENNON. What kind of fucking procedures? You have written on the wall that your visitation
day is Friday!
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Gunnar is not feeling well, he has shown aggression. He is dangerous
not only to those around him, but also to himself. We were forced to tie him and prescribe a new
course of haloperidol.
ULLE. He is normal. I’ll even tell you a terrible secret, he is doing it on purpose. He wants you to
give him a diagnosis that will prevent him from joining the army. He says that the army is stupid,
and he doesn’t want to lose two years of his life….
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Believe me, I’m an expert and I know when people are pretending and
when they really have problems. Gunnar has a complex medical history. You know that he grew
up in a family of alcoholics, and when his father came to them occasionally, Gunnar was forced
to fight with him in order to protect his mother from beatings…
HARLEQUIN. So messed up I want you here. In my room I want you here Now we’re gonna be
face-to-face!
LENNON. I can hear him! He sings! You said he was unconscious, I hear him! Harlequin! I’m
here! I came to you! I’m here, Harlequin!
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. You’re wasting your time, young man. And in general, your behavior
raises questions for me. Do you want me to call the paramedics?
HARLEQUIN. …And I’ll lay right down in my favorite place and now I wanna be your dog now I
wanna be your dog now I wanna be your dog well come on!
ULLE. Are you sure it’s good for him here?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. We are doing everything to make him feel good.
HARLEQUIN. I wanna be your dog now I wanna be your dog now I wanna be your dog well
come on!
LENNON. Harlequin!
39
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. We can control his suicidal tendencies only in a hospital. To our great
regret.
HARLEQUIN. I wanna be your dog I wanna be your dog I wanna be your dog!
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Reinforced outfit, to the ward immediately! Where did the patient find a
knife?!
ULLE. But I want to see him!
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. There will be no visitations today, we have an emergency. Get him out
of there immediately! He will cut himself!
ULLE. What’s going on there?
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Come on Friday. Not this Friday, but in a week.
LENNON. Hello.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. In a week.
ULLE. Hello.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. In a week.
LENNON. Hello.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST. I think tomorrow, for half an hour, we can take him out.
LENNON. Hello. My friend, I was not allowed to see you for so long.
HARLEQUIN. Yes?
LENNON. How are you?
HARLEQUIN. Fine.
LENNON. Look what I brought. Kesey wrote a book, and they took it from us and translated it,
imagine. To show how their life in capitalism is not sugar. By the way, I haven’t read about the
fool myself yet. Fresh, man! Will you?
HARLEQUIN. Fine.
LENNON. They haven’t let you out for a long time.
HARLEQUIN. Lennon.
ULLE. I’m not Lennon, I’m Ulle.
HARLEQUIN. Sorry. Where’s Lennon?
40
ULLE. Don’t know. Did he come to you? Did Lennon come to you?
LENNON. Everyone sends their greetings to you. They say they are jealous. You’re here getting
highs for free, you’re probably flying around day and night. Yeah? Are you flying? Harlequin,
what are you doing?
HARLEQUIN. I thought about it. Fine.
ULLE. What’s fine?
HARLEQUIN. What?
LENNON. I said, what’s fine?
HARLEQUIN. The food here is fine. Delicious porridge. And also bread. Tea with chicory. I will
go.
LENNON. The time hasn’t run out yet. Let’s chat some more!
HARLEQUIN. Come on.
ULLE. What “come on”?
LENNON. What are you doing, friend?
HARLEQUIN. I will go. I am tired. Fine?
ULLE. Okay, sure. Come on, Harlequin, rest. And I’ll see you next Friday I’ll come again.
LENNON. I’ll bring some oranges. Do you want some oranges?
HARLEQUIN. What?
ULLE. No, nothing.
LENNON. There is nothing.
HARLEQUIN. This. I forgot. You must.
ULLE. What? You to me? It’s me, Ulle.
LENNON. What do I owe?
HARLEQUIN. Must do there. There.
Pause.
HARLEQUIN. I will go.
LENNON. I came to see him every Friday. He was not getting any better, and we had nothing to
talk about. We were mostly silent. I think it was hard for him to be with me. It seemed so to me.
41
And I gradually stopped going to him. I’m ashamed of course. But going there was somehow…
painful. It was all if it’s all my fault.
HARLEQUIN. You need something like that. And Ulle. I forgot. Do it. - FREE LOVE
SECRET. Oh. Another star has fallen. Has anyone managed to make a wish? Sirena, did you
manage to made a wish?
LENNON. And then the abbot of the monastery, the vessel for Buddha Amitaba, and the spirits
of all six patriarchs…
SIREN. There are a lot of people for one vessel.
SECRET. Why are you hanging onto his words? Carry on, handsome.
LENNON. Well, I’m not very good at the terms, Harlequin and Krishna could have explained it
better. In short, this enlightened person puts his hand on my head and says, Lennon, you are
the Chosen One. And he gives this thing.
SIREN. Solid stuff, man.
LENNON. This is the weapon of the spiritual warrior, Ian Andresen’s iron flute, which can
destroy the Soviet Union.
SECRET. Play for us.
LENNON. I can’t, I’m not a musician.
SECRET. Ohh, we thought you were a musician.
LENNON. No, why. I also have my own band. “Party’s Errors,” have you heard of it? I play the
tambourine there and sing all sorts of things. Oh, there’s another star. Or is it an airplane?
SIREN. Enough talking. Let’s climbe into the tent. Today we will play.
LENNON. We will play? Oh, that’s what you’re talking about.
SECRET. Three of us. You don’t mind, Sirena?
SIREN. I don’t mind. And you, Secret, don’t mind?
SECRET. No, I don’t mind, Sirena, that’s what I suggested.
LENNON. Don’t you want to ask me?
SIREN. Why? Are you against? We have free love, we are free people, and today is cold night.
42
LENNON. Why is your name Secret?
SIREN. She is from Finland, my sister. Normal Finnish name.
LENNON. So you are sisters? And how is it? Isn’t it weird with your sister?
SECRET. You’re talking a lot, man. Are you coming?
LENNON. Well, yes. Why not. I don’t owe anything to anyone!
SIREN. We’re waiting for you in the tent.
SECRET. And we have something to do there.
LENNON. And I’m still very young. And Ulle… well, she’s so serious sometimes. Like my
mother. She frowns as if I have to do something right away. And I immediately begin to worry
that something needs to be done. Even when there is nothing to do! Especially when you don’t
need to do anything, but just relax and enjoy life. I don’t owe her, she doesn’t owe me, we are in
equal positions. Her and I. We are equal. What? Why are you laughing there, hippies? Come
on! Tell me what you’re laughing at! Where are you? It is so dark here… and cold? It’s cold as
hell…
Pause.
LENNON. You can only laugh at me here. Because there was no longer August, starfall, or
seashore, but there was Tallinn, winter, and a bench at the bus station. And also I had a terrible
headache, it was so cold that I couldn’t feel my fingers, and the worst thing was that I didn’t
have the flute. Either it never existed, or I hopelessly lost it somewhere. The pockets were
empty, only in my jeans I found a stinking. Cloth with stain remover. I vomited on the dirty snow
for a long time, and all I could do was crawl to the side so as not to be seen by the comrades. It
seems that this is the end of my trip, my mystical journey. It always ends with a hangover.
Pause.
ULLE. Mom, I’m back. Mom!
MAMA ULLE. I’m here!
ULLE. What happened to you?
MAMA ULLE. Don’t be alarmed, I’m cutting onions.
ULLE. And I thought, why when I came in I immediately got teary.
MAMA ULLE. Another half bag and I’ll be done. It’s all rotten, can you imagine? I clean and
clean, but it’s all rotten.
ULLE. Let me help you.
MAMA ULLE. Don’t sit on this stool, it’s wobbly. Sit on this one.
43
Pause.
ULLE. How caustic it is.
MAMA ULLE. Onions, daughter, they are like that.
ULLE. Mom, I’m pregnant.
MAMA ULLE. Good.
ULLE. Good?
MAMA ULLE. Well, what’s wrong? That’s how it should be.
ULLE. My child has no father. And won’t have one.
MAMA ULLE. You my child didn’t have a father either. And just like this at one time I came to
my mother, your grandmother.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. It’s nothing. We’ll manage somehow. Help me peel these onions and
let’s cook dinner.
MAMA ULLE. But is it so hard to raise a child alone?
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. Hard? It just seems that way. And it seemed to me, but my mother…
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. Don’t sit on this stool, it’s wobbly. Sit on the footstool. Here’s
an onion. Clean.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. She calmed me down then.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. Don’t worry. We will raise her the same way I was raised, in
traditions of our family, the way my mother raised me.
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER OF ULLE. The stool broke the day I found out I was
pregnant. We quarreled with your father, leaving, he kicked the stool in anger and since then it
wobbles.
ULLE. There’s still so much onion left.
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER OF ULLE. But you have something to sit on and you have a
knife to clean onion with us.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. This is the correct course of life.
ULLE. I experience déjà vu so often.
MAMA ULLE. Me too.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. And me.
44
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. And me.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. What did you say? Did I imagine it?
ULLE. You imagined it.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. I imagined it?
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. You imagined it.
MAMA ULLE. I imagined it too.
ULLE. And I imagined it.
LENNON. Ulle, Ulle what are you doing?
ULLE. I’m peeling onions, Caleb.
LENNON. Ulle, I’m hungover, Ulle, I’m an idiot, Ulle, I love you.
ULLE. Be careful Lennon, this stool is wobbly and you might fall.
LENNON. To hell with this stool, Ulle, I lost the flute!
ULLE. You broke the stool.
MAMA ULLE. He broke our fragile stool.
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER OF ULLE. It was my husband’s stool.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. Our generational stool.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. It was…
LENNON. Shut up old hag! And you, and you, and you! Everyone shut up! Ulle let’s go, I need
you and I don’t need anyone else.
ULLE. What about free love?
LENNON. Fuck free love, I only want to be with you! Always!
ULLE. It won’t work, Lennon.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. It won’t work, young man.
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER OF ULLE. No way!
MAMA ULLE. No way.
LENNON. If you don’t all shut up, I don’t know what I’ll do with you and your rotten onions! Why
won’t it work, Ulle?
45
ULLE. I used to belong to you all. And now I will have a child.
LENNON. A child?
ULLE. Yes. My child. And I will raise her in the traditions of our family.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. And I will raise her in the traditions of our family.
LENNON. But this is not only your child, he is mine too. Right?
MAMA ULLE. But you will leave.
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ULLE. Broke the stool and now he will leave… I’m silent. I’m silent.
GRANDMOTHER ULLE. I’m silent.
MAMA ULLE. We are silent.
LENNON. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be with you. And we’ll name our son Paul.
ULLE. Are you sure it won’t be a daughter?
LENNON. My son will be called Paul, after the famous Paul McCartney. Or Ringo! In honor of
my friend Ivar! No less famous!
ULLE. What if a girl is born? Wait, wait, I know! If it’s a girl, we’ll name her Georgia!
LENNON. And it was as if the walls had collapsed around us, and my brave young Ulle and I
found ourselves on Red Square near the walls of the Kremlin. - FALL
ULLE. It’s a New Year’s parade! We need to be closer to the mausoleum, to the Eye!
LENNON. There’s such a crowd, we won’t get through.
ULLE. They’re blind, can’t you see? We’ll run the gauntlet.
LENNON. How the shackles rattle!
ULLE. On three. One! Two!
LENNON. Look! Ivar is there! Ivar!
ULLE. Ivar, we are here!
LENNON. He doesn’t hear us. Both Krishna and Anu. There they are, in formation!
ULLE. And Harlequin. How scary, Harlequin has no eye!
LENNON. But he sees! This giant Eye on the mausoleum sees everything!
46
ULLE. Chimes!
LENNON. The Eye, look, it is opening!
ULLE. Lennon, the chimes are so loud! I’m scared!
LENNON. Ulle, I don’t have the flute, I don’t know what to do, Ulle.
ULLE. Lennon, do something!
Chimes.
LENNON. The year nineteen seventy-three began. We stood in front of a huge Eye that looked
at us, and further, through us, to the entire empire, to every corner of the Soviet Union. And we
had no weapons except ourselves and our youth. And then I hugged Ulle tighter, collected all
the saliva that was in my dry throat and…
Pause.
KALLE. What did you do? Spat?
LENNON. Yes. Spat right in that eye. I couldn’t think of anything else at that moment.
ANU. And what happened?
LENNON. And nothing. I woke up.
ULLE. And he almost threw me out of bed.
LENNON. Such a story.
KALLE. Confused story.
ANU. In a dream, everything becomes so confused, you can’t understand anything.
KALLE. Well, you can understand something. Namely, the anti-Soviet idea of your story.
LENNON. Well Kalle, stop it.
KALLE. Why should I stop?
ANU. It’s the year ninety, no one cares anymore who has what kind of dreams – Soviet or not.
Or do you believe that we are all still being monitored by the KGB?
KALLE. We are still in the USSR, and we must…
ULLE. We don’t owe anything. And everyone feels that we shouldn’t.
KALLE. Tomorrow everything could go back.
LENNON. Do you believe this?
47
KALLE. For what purpose did you want to meet me?
LENNON. None. Just to tell you my dream.
KALLE. For what purpose did you really want to meet me?
LENNON. Yes, I’m telling you! I had a dream about how in seventy-two, we gathered at my
garden…
KALLE. I do not believe you.
ULLE. Kalle, dear, don’t worry so much.
KALLE. Don’t reassure me, Ulle! There is no need to pretend to be the world’s mother, I am an
adult, I decide for myself how to react.
ULLE. Kalle, I…
KALLE. I’ll pay for everyone. I’m willing to pay for this dinner, but I also want you to stop calling
me at work. All our calls are recorded and I don’t want any problems.
LENNON. Okay, okay, I didn’t know it was like that for you…
KALLE. I’ll be very grateful. I have a lot of work to do and these are very hectic times. I don’t
have time to listen to your fantasies.
LENNON. Don’t be so nervous.
KALLE. I have to go.
ANU. Drop the poor widow off in your company car, Kalle. As a friend? Like good old times?
Kalle?
Kalle leaves silently.
ANU. Asshole. And a rich brat.
ULLE. I told you, honey, this was a bad idea.
ANU. Why was it bad? I had a great time this evening. I remembered my youth. I was so
beautiful, everyone wanted me.
ULLE. You are not bad now too.
ANU. May be. But at thirty years old, a single woman no longer has a chance in these times.
LENNON. Thirty four? Are you my age? Are our birthdays are nearby?
ULLE. Caleb….
A distant rumble of thunder can be heard.
48
ANU. It will rain soon. We need to get to the bus quickly. Are you going home too?
ULLE. We have umbrellas. We’ll walk.
LENNON. The fact that children are adults has its advantages. You can be out until late.
ANU. You have a very small one though…what’s his name?
LENNON. Ringo.
ULLE. Georgia will put Ringo to bed. She’s a big girl and she can handle it.
ANU. Well, fine, whatever you say. Then bye-bye, people.
LENNON. Bye-bye, Anu.
Pause.
LENNON. I wonder what if we had succeeded then? What would be? What country would we
live in now?
ULLE. You know, it used to seem to me that every day was similar to the previous one. Such
monotonous repetition. And now it’s like… Let’s see!
HARLEQUIN. Ulle? Ulle is that you? And Lennon. You are together again.
LENNON. Gunnar?
HARLEQUIN. I’m not Gunnar. Gunnar is there, in the hospital.
LENNON. Have you been released?
HARLEQUIN. A long time ago.
ULLE. Sorry, we didn’t visit you…
HARLEQUIN. They released me and then took me back again. And then they released me
again.
LENNON. It’s clear.
HARLEQUIN. And then they took me away. And so every spring and every autumn they take
you and then release you. And then it’s me again. And in spring and autumn I am Gunnar. I
don’t like Gunnar.
LENNON. It’s clear.
ULLE. What are you doing here?
49
HARLEQUIN. I sweep the area. Harlequin’s work. I sweep the area, make the area clean, and
when the area is clean, my head is also clean and good. Although the roar is getting louder and
louder. Do you hear it?
LENNON. Yes, it will rain soon. It’s time for us to go home.
ULLE. Yes, children are waiting for us.
HARLEQUIN. And now they throw a lot of garbage. Many newspapers. It’s like they’re reading
it, getting burned, and dropping it. And I hear a roar. Can you hear it? It’s because of you that all
this noise is happening? I have seen, I was floating.
LENNON. Yes, you saw it, Harlequin.
HARLEQUIN. I was floating.
LENNON. You were floating.
ULLE. Harlekishechka, it’s time for us go. Let’s go, my dear.
HARLEQUIN. And now I read the headlines and listen to the rumble. Every day there are new
headlines.
Olle and Lennon leave. Harlequin sweeps the square alone. Thunder is heard again.
HARLEQUIN. New headlines… “Baltic Chain,” “Singing Revolution”… This roar, I hear it. It’s in
the headlines, in people’s faces. I remember, I was floating. I saw. I saw how the two stood in
front of the colossus, before the eye. I saw how he hugged her, his woman, and I saw how he
spat. Spat right in that giant eye. And I saw how this creature, this titan, thousands of kilometers
wide, the size of millions of people, how he tried to evade this insignificant spit. But it is so huge,
so slow, that this movement took many years. He kept dodging and dodging this little man’s spit.
He kept dodging and dodging, more and more, and it could no longer straighten up, he was too
heavy and clumsy, and I saw how he began to collapse. He began to slowly, slowly collapse,
and his fall became faster every day, every month, every year. And Harlequin, not the blind
insignificant Gunnar, but the prophetic prophet Harlequin — he hears this roar, hears it every
day, this roar of a falling giant, and hears it when he reads newspaper headlines, and when he
cleans the square to clear his head, and when… What is this?
Harlequin puts the broom aside, fumbles in the dark and finally picks up from the ground an iron
stick.
HARLEQUIN. An iron flute without holes is a Taoist instrument, it is a flute that cannot be
played, just as it is impossible to jump over one’s own shadow.
He brings the flute to his lips and makes a tentative sound. Harlequin smiles.
HARLEQUIN. Not bad, not bad….
He brings the flute to his lips again, and suddenly begins to play Aqualung Jethro Tull on it.
Behind him, the Soviet Union is silently collapsing.
CURTAIN. 2017.