Polina Borodina
2015
Translated by Elizabeth Outlaw
Edited by Elena Susanna Weygandt
Friend: one-hundred and twenty thousand people… summer, beautiful weather, a heap of people with
children and balloons… wildly awesome! And it seemed as though yesterday there were 80 thousand,
today there was 120 thousand, and then a million will come out, and everything in the country will be
alright. It was obvious that no one at the Kremlin was going anywhere. What’s up, kreml? Right now,
there are mothers running with their children to the Kremlin. And then we went to the bridge and saw the
cars. And then, when they narrowed down the passage I understood that it had been a trap… And when
we went there, it still seemed that there were APCs (armored personnel carrier) and tanks… but of course
there was nothing there, no APCs and tanks. When it began everything was already falling apart, and
when the special forces ran and when they started to go around beating up people… that’s when I realized
that everyone had been taken away. And I understood very well that I had no doubts about it because I
didn’t do anything. I never hit anyone, and didn’t go anywhere… but I’m not an activist. Yet again, it
became clear that it wasn’t necessarily activism, but that was much later.
Grandmother: It was half past 1 am. He went to Lenya, probably, at half past midnight, and then they both
met with Tanya. He showed up but we were already asleep with the children. Like always, he said to the
computer: “I’ve been here for a little while.” I said “okay.” And suddenly I hear the doorbell. I think
“Oh!” around 1 am. And he got up, looked in the peephole, and opened the door. And I say: “who are you
opening it for?” – I immediately began to worry. In entered four cops and an investigator. I looked like
this – and I wanted to put on a bathrobe, but I put it on inside-out!
Granddad: Everyone was being civil.
Grandmother: They immediately introduced themselves, the investigator went into the kitchen, sat at the
table, and, not paying any attention to us, immediately introduced witnesses-neighbors.
Grandad: Two women.
Grandmother: But these cops here, seeing that I am trembling, say: “Don’t worry about it.” And he said:
“he’s not a criminal, not a hooligan.”
Grandfather: Not a thief, not a murderer.
Grandmother: I’m in fear: “what are you doing here? What has he done? What is it?” and I grabbed right
onto him.
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Grandfather: The main thing that was said was, “the wrong place, the wrong time, and the wrong people.”
Grandmother: That was it, May 6th.
Grandfather: He is not a criminal, not a thief, not a murderer.
Grandmother: We don’t get it – what does it all mean? We forgot he even was at this protest. I saw bruises
on his shoulders. But he only says, “They will sort it out and let me go. I am not at guilty. Calm down.”
Grandfather: He’s not a murderer, not a thief.
Grandmother: What are you doing?! He’s just a kid! What is he guilty of? He’s not answering any of us,
“they’ll figure it out,” and that’s it. Then they started raiding. They all tossed around and threw out
everything, and it all ended up on the floor. I said: “Oh Lord, our daughter-in-law will fight. Why are you
throwing out all the underwear? What are you looking for?” His bag had been shaken out, there was a
balloon. He had bought it the day before yesterday. And that balloon was taken.
Grandfather: He’s not a criminal, not a thief.
Grandmother: Then they shook out all the parts of my wallet with their fingers. I say: “What are you
looking for there? He has money, he never has large sums…” and that’s it. And then they started
handcuffing him. Can you imagine? I say: “Good, lord, 1973, is it? What does this mean? What are you
doing to him?” And he truly turned pale and said: “Grandma, don’t be upset. It will all be sorted out. Let it
happen. I’m not guilty of anything.” He didn’t ask them any questions. He was silent, silent.
Grandfather: We had some hard days after that.
Grandmother: Every day is hard for us.
Wife: At 6 in the morning they knocked. They sat down, they searched. One of the officers who arrived
was in epaulets. And perhaps they were some type of riot police. The one thing we have there is a small
box with all sorts of spices. There’s a heap of lighters and matchboxes. I also looked at it, but I didn’t
understand, and then it dawned on me. He was so slow – he was slowly opening the matchbox. But,
suddenly something falls apart (long dramatic pause). As you can imagine. (Pause) But they were just
matches.
Mother: Yes, this arrest – it was all terrible insanity. I can still picture it in my head. How they stormed in
– several men in helmets. There were an infinite amount of these astronauts, lord knows how many. Most
importantly, with their machine guns at the ready (guns ablazin’). They turned off the light. I went out
into the hallway and they rushed in there so as not to break through the door. But we would have opened
it anyway. Most interesting was that they immediately came in with machine guns as a direct threat. And
Andrei came out of the bathroom and didn’t even resist. They immediately laid him out, 10 people. They
immediately laid him out and then wrote that he allegedly resisted. There was no way to resist this in that
narrow hallway with all those people. They immediately put him down and snapped his arm. Then all
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these people were tense – incomprehensible. And then there was this raid. The important thing is that
nothing came of it. Captured like a supervillain. Unbelievable.
Sister: My son runs to me with such eyes: “Mom, There’s a bunch of men!” I went to find out. Yes, there
actually stood 8 men, such a horde. They shoved a search warrant in my face. I read something,
something like that there were no dates on this order. And I said: “Well, come in.” He, my son, and I were
at home. Here we are, the three of us. And they came in, asked if he had his documents, immediately took
him, and went to Petrovka. And four remained – this investigator and three operatives, who began
conducting the search. I watched all of this like it was a movie. It all felt so unrealistic. And I don’t even
know how to act. Some nonsense (bullshit). When they asked me: “so you have anything illegal…
firearms, drugs.” I genuinely thought – do I have any? (pause) “I believe not.” They took one thing. They
picked out one book. It was named, “Nomenclature against Russia.” And like, after that, I didn’t know
what to do. I called a friend. I understand that I woke her up. I said, “Lud, tell me please, I just had my
apartment raided. What do I do? Drink cognac or Valerian? What do you recommend? You’re a smart
woman.” And half-asleep she said “Cognac!” I say, “Thank you.”
Trial
Friend: It’s unknown when the trial begins, unknown when it ends, unknown how long it will last. To call
at work and say: “Guys, pardon me, I’m here…” It’s a wild time killer. A large quantity of people with
both sides killing time. For example, bailiffs. Who is guarding the judge from us… Friends and
relatives?! When the guys were led out, each of them were handcuffed. Each being accompanied by
soldiers, and behind them more soldiers. Each came with dog… either a Malinois or Rottweiler—the
absolute sweetest. He’s very bored. It’s just hot and nothing ever happens. Huge dog, small space. And he
somehow laid down having his hind legs bending like here. He was sad. He grunted terribly… a huge
dog—a killer. And guys the whole time… while the judge is saying something, the guys are watching the
dog. Because it was moving, because it was alive. And they couldn’t take their eyes off that dog.
Father: Ee were in the appeal court. One judge just went to sleep. There were three judges. One just sat
and slept. People’s fates were being decided while she just sat or slept.
Friend: Because it was all terribly boring. I was writing to you on Facebook: guys, come, just keep in
mind that it’s wildly boring. You sit here, and I don’t know, there, read a book, a magazine. Because it is
impossible to bear. It’s so boring.
Mother: Every time I kept hoping that after the court sessions, I could go back with my son. And then our
lawyer tells me, “Stella, understand this is a political case. It lasting any less than just a year or two is not
going to happen – this is politics.” I looked at him like that, thinking, “is he an idiot or something?” Well,
how is he doing anyways? He is still innocent. They still have to let him go. Now they will sort this out
and release him! I did not understand. Well, I knew, of course, that they imprison some innocent people.
But the fact that he was a political prisoner – I couldn’t understand it! He went to that square for which
they could imprison him for years. We gathered everything to prove his innocence. Obviously, I hoped,
that someday they would realize! And then, when you sit and know, that it is not so, and in court, they
simply say that it’s like this, and like this, and like this. But in fact it is the complete opposite. And you’re
in shock. And so as to not get kicked out of the room you just sit and stay silent, ingesting it all. Where is
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he going? I was immediately kicked out. And I did not see my son. But at least I can enjoy this – being
able to sit and watch my son. And when they brought in new people to trial, they sat and started
screaming something – that it’s not true, it is unjust, how dare you – and then they kicked them out of the
room. Now even we were getting angry at these people because nowadays they kick us out because
they’re in the room. We knew, that it’s unjust, but there’s no way out.
Dad: the lawyer told us: on the video you can clearly see that Lyosha is missing. But the policeman
suddenly remembers that aleksei hit him on the arm, causing him physical pain, and making him a 318.
And mainly, then this policeman came to court and said the previous statement again. He said, that he did
not get hurt on May 6th, and has no claims against anyone. His lawyer asked, “tell me, when will you tell
the truth? You gave that statement in August. Then you gave a statement in October- still the same thing.
Then once, you gave a statement in December that he inflicted physical harm on you. Now you say again
that you were unharmed. Tell the truth.” He was like, “oh, let’s forget it.” To the entire Moscow city
courtroom, everyone there was laughing, even the judges.
Father: It’s not at all like what’s on television. It has nothing to do with that. Well and according to how
the trial goes, and how the judges’ attitudes go; however, it was clear what awaits us. What to expect for
our boy. We already waited for the sentencing of the group, when the prosecutors asked for monstrous
sentences for them. Nothing happened with me, but my wife landed in the ER to be resuscitated from
heart problems.
Mother: I didn’t work at all for three months. I went to trials constantly. I generally was an optimist
throughout life and always smiled before. And only once did I break down in court, once, when they
released the guys on parole. I couldn’t calm down. Although I knew about this ahead of time, they were
being released, but my son wasn’t. We knew all of this ahead of time. This way… you are always
laughing, smiling. I show up at court, see my son – and it makes me happy to see him.
Friend: Well they could at least be a little prepared, so that there was some logic to what they were
saying. But it was full of nonsense, it was even comical. I am a person who generally understands nothing
about the law. The only thing I know about lawyers is what I have seen in American films, where they
were all beautiful, and they were all applauded. And I’ve heard it all, I think, how can we still not
understand that they are spewing nonsense, just because this cannot be, because it can never be, because it
does not add up.
Father: As a coroner gets used to cutting, he has no relation to what he is cutting. So do not have any
relation to whom you are judging here.
Mother: He didn’t see the sun all those years because cars would drive by the building, load them right
up, and take them to court. The car was locked. The only thing is that at the Moscow city court there were
two meters from the car to the premises. Two meters. Act it out, squint, shield your eyes with your hand.
It was dark still, and their eyes…They couldn’t, they were so happy to see the white light, although it
would be for two meters (pause). When they took them back to the jail afterwards, he called me on the
first day there. He got a phone from somewhere. He said: “Mom, I am sitting on a bench with a fountain
in front of me. I see green leaves and apples, and I realized that they are real. I mean, it’s not, it’s like, it’s
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not a drawing, not a painting, but it’s an apple, an apple tree with apples, alive, red.” There he sat, telling
me. “I was walking today. The sun spoke to me looking straight at me. I enjoy this direct sunlight.” He’s
talking. I am sitting and thinking how little a man needs to be happy.
Sister-in-law 2: Every lawyer told us, “It’s very hard to prove innocence if you don’t have grounds on
which to prove it. There is no objective information.” He said, “Similarly, you cannot prove that the sun
shines. You can’t prove it because that’s how it is.”
After the army, he wanted to go to study at the Federal Security Service. They suggested it to him when
he was at Red Square on May 9th carrying the symbol banner. But when he went to hand in his
documents, they immediately told him that since he had recently received citizenship, since then, he lived
in Ukraine and Moldova, and that was a very big disadvantage. And the fact that he had a father in
Ukraine was also a setback. So then they never called. Well and he went to a liberal arts institution and
got a job there. And Red Square is so stressful. They had every one of those ammonium chloride jars
screwed onto their machine guns. They told me that one guy got it on his hands, could not unclench them,
and then the ambulance came. To go through Red Square is a heroic thing, especially, as he, the rightflanker, is on the same side as the president… It’s very scary, when you have the responsibility of half a
thousand people, who are coming for you. If one makes a mistake, they all make a mistake. And in one
moment it can just a disgrace our country. My son wrote that everything is like chess… Like in chess
there’s a move such as a “Zugzwang.” When the government loses either way. And any following move
brings more loss. We went to him for the first time, and he’s sitting there, smiling. The girls came from
the institute, sitting there crying. The tears were really flowing, but he sat smiling, like what, stop your
crying. Then a nearby officer, so healthy, and was like, “Be quiet, or else we’ll kick you out right now.”
And we got quiet. We were just kinda like this. (Gestures, conscious eyes). Like mutes, just gesturing.
And in that moment the OMON officer got up just like that in front of him and in front of us, deliberately
stood up so no we couldn’t be seen. And he apparently looked at him wrong. And when they brought
them there, he initially said to him, “legs shoulder-width apart, facing the wall.” And then he stands with
his back on the wall and at the same time gets abruptly hit on the head. Their hands were like I am
showing you – behind their backs like this. It was obvious that the guy was not expecting the blow. He
like turns around asking, “What that was for?” The OMON officer was like, “What for? You looked at me
wrong.” He got hit in the head eight times. Then they were led to the convoy, there were no cameras, not
a single one. He was hit on the head again. He passed out. On the second day he got sick. He went to the
infirmary, and there, they said it was a concussion but it was not recorded anywhere. They gave him some
pills and that’s all. He had intracranial pressure. He could not be hit, he couldn’t even box. I talked to him
once, “I won’t box.” I talked with him a second time, “I won’t box.” Then he said, “well please, I won’t
be in the ring, I’ll just hit this thing called a punching bag and that’s it.” I said, “Okay, go ahead so I will
box with you.” “Mom, are you kidding me?” he said, “Well how can I go to boxing with by mom on my
arm?” Then we sat down for dinner. I already calmed down, obviously. We sat and ate dinner. And he
was like, “Mama, is that really what you’re nervous for? Well, you know that I’m still going to go.” And I
said, “until the first bruise.” And he immediately came home with the bruises! I said, “That’s it. You can’t
go anymore.” And then we removed him just like that. There. That’s right, he can’t go anymore. (Pause).
He’d rather go to boxing.
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Father: there was a limited assortment that could be sent in a package. Well, kielbasa, cheese, and meat.
Now they allowed fish… pastries, such as buns. Apples. They have a trading terminal inside where they
could order lunches. It’s expensive, of course… he lost 30 kilos. There used to be some books you could
give to your taste, the first package I sent, there was, well Gumiliov…
Sister-in-law: An amendment recently went into effect that it is prohibited to give books about revolutions
or just historical books. I managed to give him many books about Latin America, and then it caused a
problem. They planted drugs in the books and everyone in jail suffers because of it.
Sister: In fact I smuggled contraband into prison. You can only bring clothes in there once every four
months, and it just happened to get cold, and I couldn’t even give him a sweater. And there is a search. I
think, “What is he doing?” I took that sweater. It’s unisex. It’s unclear whether male or female. I stuff it
into the bag, thinking, “We need to hide it in something.” Then when I went into the prison, I bought him
something tasty. I bought doughnuts. And they still smelled fresh. I was luck that there was a guy doing
the inspection that time. Usually girls look more thoroughly. And I opened the bag, saying, “just this
sweater and these doughnuts.” I put one up to his nose, “Wanna check?” He said, “no, I’m good.”
I’m thinking, “Halfway there.” Now the visit is sort of finished, and he had to be taken away. I say, “Are
you maybe cold in your cell?” He said, “Yes, it’s cold.” I say, “so I guess you wouldn’t mind?” All at
once, I just take off the jacket, put him in a t-shirt and sweater and put the jacket back on myself. The
officer didn’t even have time to utter when I put my brother in the sweater. They were both dumfounded,
I said, “Now you can leave.”
Mom: We visited once at butyrka. He asked for a hoodie-a sweatshirt with a hood. We were forced to cut
off the hood.
Fiance #2: If you want to give cake crusts, which is basically bread, they don’t accept them. They’re not
on the approved list. There’s no logic how crust differs from bread, only because the packaging is
different. But once every six months you can do a bag drop-off, which has clothes. If you forgot
something on a visit, that’s it.
Margolin: There’s a lot of paperwork to fill out. You say, “you tell me what to write and I’ll write it.”
And to that he answers, “I don’t have to teach you, write it yourself.” But they are good-natured ones.
And they will write and bring out a bag of candy. The candy should be unwrapped.
Mom: But at the camp there are handmade Ryazan nanotechnologies. There is a store. You walk in. Say
to the auntie what you need. She writes it down for you and counts it. You pay. You see the bag that goes
to your son. She says, “the bill will be in the bag.”
Dad: The first thing they said to us: “20 kilograms of candy, lollipops.” Three for himself, three for this
guy, three for that guy, five to share with the other inmates. And she was like, “Why.”
Mom: Maybe, 100?
Dad: Will you take, maybe a ton?
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Mama: I say, “Don’t you have 20?” – “I do” – “What for?” – “Is that not allowed? Do you have a weight
limit on lollipops?” – “No. why? I know why!” we both say in one voice, “Why?” she’s like. “They’ll be
stilling moonshine!”
Mama: We were like, “He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, we have kids, etc.” But he was also asking
some guy for a bagel. I say, “You have bagels?” – “Yeah I have one”- “How many?” – “One” – “One
bagel?”
Papa: And 20 KGs of lollipops.
Fiance#1- In my ideal government, there is no government. And no prisons. Prisons don’t solve a
problem. Firstly, some people just end up there for no good reason, and others end up there because they
committed a crime. Why did this man commit this crime? For example, a person might have a drug
addiction. Why did he end up with a drug addiction? It’s a question as well. So much of it boils down to
our economic system. I also didn’t understand why people are so wrapped up in economics, and then you
understand that all roads lead to Rome. Yes, it happens that a person does not understand, that it’s better
to live honestly on a doctor’s salary, thinking, “I’d rather rob people, but at least I’ll be living very well.”
I’m not saying that it’s good or bad, but everyone has their reasons. Many things take place from the fact
that people are misinformed and ignorant. They tell him, “Go, watch cop shows, it’s your catalog. Know
your place.” So many people are artificially limited because of what they believe that you don’t need to
know more. In short, being defines consciousness. He’s the best guy I know, it’s true! Mine has a whole
lot of flaws, but I love him with all his flaws. I don’t want him to change even a bit. I told him that I want
to give him a gift for the occasion. He was like, “a big gift?” (Shows tattoo on her shoulder). I have
wanted to get this tattoo done for some time, to mark him. There’s a dog, there’s a cat, and it says here
loyalty and honesty. I’m a dog person. You know, it’s like a yin-yang. The coolest thing about it is he’s
trying to figure you out. He doesn’t try to force you to do anything, he’s always sincere. So yeah, his
honesty and my loyalty.